Motherhood Monday: A Labor Story {Part 2}

Last week, I kicked off my Motherhood Monday series with the beginning of my birth story. But, much like the actual event itself, it was waaaay too long! So, here's Part 2!

By the time I was officially in "active labor", it was late afternoon on Thursday. We got set up in the room and I felt amazing. The adrenaline rush of knowing that I was really in labor was enough to dull the strong contractions. I got in bed and tried to get comfortable, turning on my HypnoBirthing affirmations and trying to relax.

The nurse assigned to us was absolutely wonderful. She was completely on board with everything we wanted to do and so sweet and helpful. {Thank heavens it wasn't nurse "What makes you think you're in labor?" Whew.} Over the next few hours, I spent time on the birthing ball, waddled walked around the room, tried to watch TV, had my mom and in-laws drop by for a visit and spent time in the jetted tub. Meanwhile, Steve just stayed by my side doing anything and everything to make me more comfortable {and also taking video of how much more subdued my contractions were when I was practicing my hypnobirthing techniques, which he got quite a kick out of}. Just having him there was the biggest help. Aside from squeezing my hips really hard during contractions for the better part of an hour, there wasn't much he could actually do.

Several hours later {I think. It all gets pretty hazy from here.}, close to 3 a.m., my doctor stopped by to see how I was doing. I was barely hanging on to sanity, not so much because of the pain, but because of not being able to rest. {Remember, we were going on day 3 of no sleep.} He brought up the big question: Pain relief.

We had talked at length about keeping things as natural as possible, but I had also let him know that if things got extreme {read: I was in labor FOREVER}, I wasn't opposed to an epidural. For that reason, I had met with the anesthesiologist when we pre-registered so that I could be cleared ahead of time in case I opted to go that route.

The doctor asked me how I was feeling {um.} and asked if I wanted to be checked and have my water broken to speed things up. The only downside would be the intensifying of contractions, which I was fairly certain I couldn't stand right then. He said he figured I felt that way and asked if I had thought about an epidural. Why, yes. Yes, I had. Several times. But I didn't want to do it. I was trying to avoid it as long as possible, but after 2 days and 12 hours of what I had experienced, I wasn't sure how much longer I'd last without hurdling myself out the window.

It was at this point that I was so glad that I switched doctors at the 11th hour and that I found someone who was so understanding. We talked over the pros and cons of the epidural and he asked me {in my delirious state} why I didn't want one. I was honest and said that I wasn't a fan of the thought of needles in my spine, numbness or strong medicine in general. I don't even take Advil unless my head feels like it's about to explode. He expressed his concern about my pain levels continuing to exhaust me to the point of rendering me useless when it was time to push -- a place you definitely don't want to find yourself in the tiring process that is labor.

After talking it over with Steve, we decided that without knowing how much longer I'd be laboring, an epidural was the best course of action for getting some rest before the big moment. I was relieved, but terrified... and frankly a little disappointed at that moment. But good ol' Hypnobirthing affirmations popped into my head: "I am prepared to meet whatever turn my labor takes." Maybe it wasn't the path that I hoped for, but by the time the anesthesiologist came in and administered the epidural, I was at peace with the decision.

{By the way, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I barely felt a thing, though I'm pretty sure I squeezed the crap out of the nurse who let me hold onto her while the whole thing was going down. The anesthesiologist -- let's call him, "Mr. Personality" -- was super quick and impressed with my getting to 6 or 7 centimeters without meds. I wasn't interested in trophies or chatter.}

As it turns out, labor with an epidural is a cake walk. Had I not been exhausted to the point of lunacy, I probably could have gone back to baking. {Except, of course, for the fact that I was numb from the armpits down and couldn't stop shivering for some reason.} Incidentally, not everyone goes completely numb when they have an epidural -- but I did. From my chest down I didn't feel a thing. I could slightly move my left leg but not my right. It was dead weight. A few times it fell off the bed and I had to ask Steve to pick it back up because I couldn't lift it myself. So weird.

The rest of the night went by slowly... but with no pain; just a strange sensation that remains when your belly contracts.  4 a.m... 5 a.m... 6 a.m... Still progressing ever so slowly.

The sun rose on Friday morning, and I was still waiting to be fully dilated. On the positive side, I'd gotten to rest a tiny bit {as did Steve, poor guy}, and I was feeling more capable of putting together a sentence, not to mention pushing out a baby. Did I mention that my parents-in-law, brother-in-law and mom had all stayed in the waiting room overnight?? I felt terrible that they were sitting out there exhausted, but no one wanted to have news of progress more than I did.

Our doctor came in and chatted with us in the morning. There was progress, but I STILL wasn't at 10 centimeters. I asked him how pushing would go if I didn't have any way to feel contractions and he assured me that my body would know what to do. If you say so!

Around 10 a.m., I was checked one last time and the doctor announced that it was time to have a baby. I was excited, but the nurse kept telling me that I was about to start a process that was no picnic. Anything seemed easier than what I had just been through in the past 3 days!

I had hoped to push the baby out in a comfortable position, but because of the epidural, I was stuck with the typical "hold my legs" stance. As I had imagined, pushing was not the easiest without any way to feel when a contraction was coming or any other sensation besides pressure. But I went with it. Because, you know, I wanted to get the kid out before his first birthday.

Meanwhile, the doctor, nurse and Steve chattered away as I huffed and puffed trying to find a rhythm and catch my breath. It was such a strange thing to be somewhere but feel like I was outside the situation. I remember staring at one part of the pattern on the wallpaper with such focus that I thought I might bore a hole into the wall with my eyes. Steve kept on leaning in and whispering words of encouragement and letting me know that I was almost there. {I didn't believe him.}

After just under an hour of pushing {it didn't seem that long... time sort of does weird things when you're in that kind of scenario}, at 10:53 a.m., Cole Thomas made his way into this world and finally graced us with his presence. After THREE DAYS!

They plopped him on top of me and I looked at him in disbelief -- I couldn't believe I did it. That he was finally here. That this was the little tot that was kicking me and doing somersaults in my belly for 40 weeks. That we had a son.

It is true that no matter how tired you were before, the adrenaline you feel after such an experience makes you feel like you could jump up and run laps. That is, if your legs aren't limp noodles. But, more likely than not, you'll opt to stay exactly where you are and stare at your baby like you've never stared at anyone else before because suddenly there is another person in your family.

Steve doing the "Daddy Stare".

Cole was healthy, strong and very squished. Three days of being wedged in a pelvis will do funny things to your face. {I'm happy to say his face has now returned to normal.} He weighed 6 pounds, 13 ounces. The perfect little peanut.

Squiiiiiiiiiiish.

So, that's how my labor went down. The thing I'd been thinking about for months on end. It was pretty incredible and I'm so thankful that even though things didn't go exactly how I had imagined {does anything ever?}, the end result was more than I could hope for. Getting through slow labor wasn't easy, but I give all the credit to my amazing husband, my incredible doctor, a fantastic nursing staff and HypnoBirthing. I can't imagine what this experience would have been like had it not been for the strong support I received!

Proud dad & awesome doc!

And that's how I officially became a mama. The end to this chapter of the story and the beginning of a lifetime of new experiences. These past few months have been a whirlwind of happiness and tears and learning and insomnia. It's been a challenge to juggle bottles, baking, blogging and life... but we're getting the hang of it {most days}.

Photo courtesy of my talented friend at Erica Dunhill Photography

I have a lot to share about how motherhood has changed my life -- the good, the bad and the spells of ugly crying {mine, not Cole's}. Every day is a new adventure for sure, and I hope that these posts will be able to help other moms out there.

Moms: Feel free to leave me a comment and tell me about your birth experience. Was it what you hoped for?

Baby Prep: HypnoBirthing + "Labor Inducing" Eggplant Parmesan

When Steve and I started discussing our preparations for baby, we decided that we'd skip the traditional classes that are offered for first time parents. This may have come as a shock because everyone knows I love to plan and prepare.

But as I mentioned in several of my other Baby Prep posts, pregnancy has been an exception to the rule when it comes to my obsessive planning and organizing traits. I realized very early on that trying to control this process would lead to nothing good. People have been having babies for millions of years; I felt comfortable relying on nature's process and calling it a day. {Especially because I had done a lot of reading before pregnancy.}

These days, there is SO MUCH information available to parents who are embarking on this adventure. It can be overwhelming. And you know what I've seen? A lot of meltdowns that occur when pregnancy, labor, delivery and the itself doesn't follow the typical route, leaving parents feeling like they're spiraling out of control early on.

Don't get me wrong; I think it's great to be prepared, especially if it gives you peace of mind. But I also think we've been bombarded with so many parenting methods and techniques in the last decade that it can hinder rather than help our plight. We've forgotten that it may be helpful to MEET our babies and get to know them before we decide how we will "handle" them. That's always made the most sense to me.

There's a lot to be said for a mother's natural instincts. My decision to keep things simple came from a desire to keep my brain unclogged and let nature dictate how things will fall into place. I didn't want to learn too many things that would confuse me or make me feel pressured to do something that maybe wouldn't come naturally had it not been suggested by one of the nation's "leading experts." The truth is, these experts have never met MY baby. I haven't even met my baby! So how am I supposed to decide what will be right for him before he even arrives? It just seemed a little backwards to me.

Though I wasn't jumping at the chance to sign up for baby care classes, breastfeeding classes, birthing classes or any of the other courses that are suggested for new moms and dads, I also didn't want to feel unprepared for the task that lay ahead -- especially the grand event of labor and delivery, which is what I had the most trepidation about. I mean, it is the first step in the process, right?

After my first OB visit, I came across a pamphlet for something called HypnoBirthing. I looked it over and almost immediately wanted to roll my eyes; it seemed a bit "crunchy" for me initially, I won't lie. But the weeks progressed and thoughts of giving birth circled around more often. I kept coming back to what I had read on the flyer about it helping to release the fear and negative images that are often attached to the birthing process. It also mentioned learning to relax and allowing the body to do its job naturally when the time of delivery comes around.

So, I talked it over with Steve and he was on board for signing up for a local HypnoBirthing class. {I think he would have agreed to anything that claimed it could potentially make labor easier on me... and on him!} The classes, as it turned out, were 2.5 hours long, meeting once a week over the course of 5 weeks. A bit of a commitment, yes, but worth a shot.

I looked over my course materials. They included a folder with lots of informational packets containing visuals of the philosophies discussed, some anatomical/biological diagrams, the course book and a "conditioning" CD called Rainbow Relaxation. Oh boy. This was going to be interesting for sure. Can we say, "Kumbaya?"

Because of a scheduling conflict, the first class we attended was with a different group than the one we would eventually join locally. We arrived and found the instructor seated cross-legged with special seats that were meant for floor sitting all set up for the attendees. By each seat, there was a small container of Play-Doh, which we wound up using to create model cervixes later in the class. Yup. So far, this was exactly what I had envisioned.

In the first session, we talked a little bit about the history of HypnoBirthing and how the founder, Marie Mongan, came up with the method as a result of being unhappy with the standard of treatment for pregnant and birthing mothers in the 1950's. In short, women were thought to be in a delicate state that required adequate medical care all throughout their pregnancies, culminating with a pretty violent birthing scenario when it was time to deliver their babies. This included strapping down of arms, general anesthesia and devices for removal of babies from the mother. Nothing "natural" about that.

After educating herself on the body's process of birthing and the history of how "modern" practices came to be, Marie decided to take birthing into her own hands and have her children naturally {gasp!}.  This was a big no-no back then. In fact, they thought she was nuts! Her doctor mocked her and, even throughout her laboring, they told her they'd wait to hear her screams before administering pain meds. Those howls never came. Though she labored calmly and peacefully {in relatively no pain} for her first two children, she was still subject to the abrupt removal of her babies in the integral moment of childbirth, leaving her feeling very ticked off. For her third child, she finally convinced her doctor to let her birth her baby the way she had always envisioned, and he was shocked at how serenely and smoothly she did so. And so, not only was her daughter born just the way she dreamed, but so was The Mongan Method.

I'm going to stop right there because I can already see many of you making faces at me and thinking I drank the hippie juice. It is not as it seems. HypnoBirthing does not claim to be completely painless or magical. It simply suggests that learning to relax your mind and body completely during those integral moments of birthing can make the experience so much more peaceful and comfortable than we imagine it to be. And doesn't that sound like a nice idea? I thought so.

Over the next few weeks, I learned about releasing fears that have been instilled in me by society {and even loved ones}, about the body's process of birthing, and about different methods of entering deep relaxation. In order to do this, I had to listen to the conditioning CD daily. Though I wasn't fond of the idea at first, it was amazing how quickly I began to enjoy this part of my evening -- it became my bedtime routine and I'd be out like a light within minutes once I learned to let tension melt away and get in "the zone." {Hence the "Hypno". As in "hypnosis", except minus the swinging pocket watch and clucking like a chicken.}

See, self-hypnosis is actually a useful technique that we can all benefit from whether we are trying to get through a tough time, learn to relax a little more or give birth to a baby. It's a natural method of intense relaxation that we do all the time without even knowing it, and it has all kinds of benefits for us.You know the times when you find yourself in a groove? Maybe while you clean, iron, shower, cook or drive to work? That's a form of hypnosis. Some people just become better at focusing it through methods of visualization and meditation, using it as a healing property. During this deeply relaxed state, our minds become more absorbent of suggestions, leaving preconceived ideas and cynicism at the door and allowing positive thoughts to take hold.

There have been scientific studies that show that hypnotism can benefit people with all kinds of traumas, injuries, psychological hurdles and stresses. In fact, my own mom underwent hypnosis after being diagnosed with breast cancer. Though she was pretty doubtful about it, she said it helped her feel better almost instantaneously -- and she's a tough nut to crack! {I had get my stubbornness from somewhere.}

Whether or not HypnoBirthing will ease the "pain" of childbirth, I can't tell you. But I can tell you that it has made a big difference in how I view my body and the process that is about to unfold in just a few weeks!

I've been asked if this means that I will refuse an epidural, and the truth is...I don't know. I can't really know until that moment comes, but I plan on using every technique possible to be as comfortable as I can possibly be, hopefully leading to a healthy and smooth delivery. This response often gets uncomfortable giggles from people, and I've become used to it. Their knowing smiles and raised eyebrows speak volumes. Some even go as far as to say something to the effect of, "Have fun with that!"

When I asked one person why she thought women like to regale each other with stories of pain and horror being the inevitable end to childbirth, she said, "Well... probably just to warn each other so they're not caught off guard." Noted. But really, do you think any woman that has a tiny idea of what birthing entails thinks it's going to be a cake walk? I mean, it IS referred to as "labor" after all.

Here's what I've learned: There's a difference between sharing words of wisdom or helpful tips and sharing frightening tales and negative messages. Why not lift new moms up and give them confidence instead of filling their minds with more fear and self-doubt? I'm sure there's already plenty of that floating around in there anyway! Would you tell an athlete who is about to run their first marathon that they will get excruciating cramps and probably gas out half way through the race? I didn't think so.

HypnoBirthing has given me confidence in my body, my mind, my baby and even gave me enough gumption to switch doctors at 34 weeks so that I would feel more comfortable with my practitioner. {My new doc has worked with HB moms and said it's pretty cool. And he's a real, certified doctor...not a witch doctor, in case you were curious.} I'm now looking forward to the process that will bring my son to me rather than dreading it, which I think is a huge first step. This means that I'm comfortable with whatever may happen during childbirth, whether it's part of what I've hoped for or not. I have no unrealistic expectations, but I do have a newfound outlook that makes me think, "Why shouldn't it be wonderful?"

And learning to fully relax? That has been a priceless skill that I wish I would have learned long, long ago!

I'll be sure to let you know how my practice is put into action when the big day comes... it's just around the corner!

In the meantime, I'm just waiting impatiently for this little nugget to arrive. Around this time, many women get the urge to do everything in their power to evict their tummy tenants -- it is quite exhausting to house someone for 40 weeks! At our last HypnoBirthing session, our instructor gave us a recipe for Scalini's Famous Egglplant Parmesan. It's a recipe served at an Italian restaurant in Georgia that is said to have sent hundreds of full-term mamas into labor within 48 hours of eating it.

Now, I don't know how true this is {I actually ate it 2 days ago and have had strong contractions but no other signs that he's coming}, but I can tell you that the dish was very good! And I don't even care for eggplant.

Though the recipe calls for stacking the eggplant lasagna-style, I made my version in single portions, sort of like Chicken Parm would be served on individual cutlets. Maybe that's why its magical properties haven't worked on me! ;)

 

So, moms-to-be... if you're full term and at the end of your rope, you may want to give it a go. Even if it doesn't work, you'll have a great dinner for you and your family to enjoy!

Scalini's Famous "Labor Inducing" Eggplant Parmesan
Adapted from Scalini's Restaurant, for the authentic version, click here

For Eggplant:
1 large eggplant, cut lengthwise into 1/4 inch pieces*
Sea salt
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1 1/2 to 2 cups Italian seasoned breadcrumbs
3 eggs, beaten
1 8 oz. container ricotta cheese
1/2 cup grated Parmesan
1/2 cup grated Romano {I actually used an aged Havarti because that's what I had, but feel free to use your favorite cheese}
1/2 cup grated mozzarella {I like the Polly-O kind or fresh, the grated stuff in the bag is too rubbery}
Olive oil

Lay eggplant pieces out onto a large baking sheet lined with paper towels. Sprinkle with salt, then cover with another set of paper towels. Place another baking sheet on top and anchor with something heavy. Set aside for about an hour. This will remove the excess moisture from the eggplant.

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Spray two 9x13 inch dishes with olive oil. Have one large baking sheet set aside for placing breaded eggplant as you go, and line another large baking sheet with paper towels for blotting cooked eggplant. Set aside. Head about 2 tablespoons of olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat.

2. Set up your breading station: In 3 separate dishes, have flour, egg and breadcrumbs ready. For each piece of eggplant: dredge in flour, shaking off excess. Dip into egg, allowing excess to drip off. Finally, coat in breadcrumbs. Set each piece onto lined baking sheet as you go. {I find that letting the breading "set" actually makes it easier when sautéing.}

3. In several batches, pan-fry breaded eggplant on each side until golden brown and crisp. You may need to add extra oil to the pan in between batches. Place cooked pieces on paper towel-lined baking sheet to drain of excess oil.

4. Ladle about half of the marinara sauce into each baking dish to cover the bottom. Place as many eggplant slices as will fit side by side on top of the sauce. Spoon about 2 tablespoons each of ricotta cheese, Parmesan cheese and Romano cheese on top of each piece of eggplant. Ladle the other half of the marinara over the eggplant slices. Top each piece with mozzarella. Sprinkle with extra herbs if desired.

5. Bake for about 25 minutes or until the sauce is bubbly and the cheese is melted.

*For the traditional version, you may slice the eggplant into rounds and "stack" the slices lasagna-style.

For Marinara:

2 tablespoons olive oil
1 cup onion, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced
2 cans diced tomatoes, blended to desired consistency
1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1/4 cup fresh basil, finely chopped {or 1 teaspoon dried basil}
1 teaspoon oregano
Pinch of rosemary
Pinch of thyme
Salt and pepper to taste

1. In a large skillet, sauté onion in olive oil over medium heat until onions are tender and translucent. Add garlic and continue to cook for about a minute.

2. Pour in blended tomatoes and stir. Bring to a bubble.

3. Add in the rest of the ingredients, stir, and allow to simmer for about 20-30 minutes or until sauce has deepened in color and thickened slightly. If your sauce thickens too much, add a bit of water or broth to thin it out.

Set aside until ready to use.