When Steve and I started discussing our preparations for baby, we decided that we'd skip the traditional classes that are offered for first time parents. This may have come as a shock because everyone knows I love to plan and prepare.
But as I mentioned in several of my other Baby Prep posts, pregnancy has been an exception to the rule when it comes to my obsessive planning and organizing traits. I realized very early on that trying to control this process would lead to nothing good. People have been having babies for millions of years; I felt comfortable relying on nature's process and calling it a day. {Especially because I had done a lot of reading
before pregnancy.}
These days, there is SO MUCH information available to parents who are embarking on this adventure. It can be overwhelming. And you know what I've seen? A lot of meltdowns that occur when pregnancy, labor, delivery and the itself doesn't follow the typical route, leaving parents feeling like they're spiraling out of control early on.
Don't get me wrong; I think it's great to be prepared, especially if it gives you peace of mind. But I also think we've been bombarded with so many parenting methods and techniques in the last decade that it can hinder rather than help our plight. We've forgotten that it may be helpful to MEET our babies and get to know them
before we decide how we will "handle" them. That's always made the most sense to me.
There's a lot to be said for a mother's natural instincts. My decision to keep things simple came from a desire to keep my brain unclogged and let nature dictate how things will fall into place. I didn't want to learn too many things that would confuse me or make me feel pressured to do something that maybe wouldn't come naturally had it not been suggested by one of the nation's "leading experts." The truth is, these experts have never met MY baby.
I haven't even met my baby! So how am I supposed to decide what will be right for him before he even arrives? It just seemed a little backwards to me.
Though I wasn't jumping at the chance to sign up for baby care classes, breastfeeding classes, birthing classes or any of the other courses that are suggested for new moms and dads, I also didn't want to feel unprepared for the task that lay ahead -- especially the grand event of labor and delivery, which is what I had the most trepidation about. I mean, it is the first step in the process, right?
After my first OB visit, I came across a pamphlet for something called
HypnoBirthing. I looked it over and almost immediately wanted to roll my eyes; it seemed a bit "crunchy" for me initially, I won't lie. But the weeks progressed and thoughts of giving birth circled around more often. I kept coming back to what I had read on the flyer about it helping to release the fear and negative images that are often attached to the birthing process. It also mentioned learning to relax and allowing the body to do its job naturally when the time of delivery comes around.
So, I talked it over with Steve and he was on board for signing up for a local HypnoBirthing class. {I think he would have agreed to anything that claimed it could potentially make labor easier on me... and on him!} The classes, as it turned out, were 2.5 hours long, meeting once a week over the course of 5 weeks. A bit of a commitment, yes, but worth a shot.
I looked over my course materials. They included a folder with lots of informational packets containing visuals of the philosophies discussed, some anatomical/biological diagrams, the course book and a "conditioning" CD called
Rainbow Relaxation. Oh boy. This was going to be interesting for sure. Can we say, "Kumbaya?"
Because of a scheduling conflict, the first class we attended was with a different group than the one we would eventually join locally. We arrived and found the instructor seated cross-legged with special seats that were meant for floor sitting all set up for the attendees. By each seat, there was a small container of Play-Doh, which we wound up using to create model cervixes later in the class. Yup. So far, this was exactly what I had envisioned.
In the first session, we talked a little bit about the history of HypnoBirthing and how the founder, Marie Mongan, came up with the method as a result of being unhappy with the standard of treatment for pregnant and birthing mothers in the 1950's. In short, women were thought to be in a delicate state that required adequate medical care all throughout their pregnancies, culminating with a pretty violent birthing scenario when it was time to deliver their babies. This included strapping down of arms, general anesthesia and devices for removal of babies from the mother. Nothing "natural" about that.
After educating herself on the body's process of birthing and the history of how "modern" practices came to be, Marie decided to take birthing into her own hands and have her children naturally {gasp!}. This was a big no-no back then. In fact, they thought she was nuts! Her doctor mocked her and, even throughout her laboring, they told her they'd wait to hear her screams before administering pain meds. Those howls never came. Though she labored calmly and peacefully {in relatively no pain} for her first two children, she was still subject to the abrupt removal of her babies in the integral moment of childbirth, leaving her feeling very ticked off. For her
third child, she finally convinced her doctor to let her birth her baby the way she had always envisioned, and he was shocked at how serenely and smoothly she did so. And so, not only was her daughter born just the way she dreamed, but so was The Mongan Method.
I'm going to stop right there because I can already see many of you making faces at me and thinking I drank the hippie juice. It is not as it seems. HypnoBirthing does not claim to be completely painless or magical. It simply suggests that learning to relax your mind and body completely during those integral moments of birthing can make the experience so much more peaceful and comfortable than we imagine it to be. And doesn't that sound like a nice idea? I thought so.
Over the next few weeks, I learned about releasing fears that have been instilled in me by society {and even loved ones}, about the body's process of birthing, and about different methods of entering deep relaxation. In order to do this, I had to listen to the conditioning CD daily. Though I wasn't fond of the idea at first, it was amazing how quickly I began to enjoy this part of my evening -- it became my bedtime routine and I'd be out like a light within minutes once I learned to let tension melt away and get in "the zone." {Hence the "Hypno". As in "hypnosis", except minus the swinging pocket watch and clucking like a chicken.}
See, self-hypnosis is actually a useful technique that we can all benefit from whether we are trying to get through a tough time, learn to relax a little more or give birth to a baby. It's a natural method of intense relaxation that we do all the time without even knowing it, and it has all kinds of benefits for us.You know the times when you find yourself in a groove? Maybe while you clean, iron, shower, cook or drive to work? That's a form of hypnosis. Some people just become better at focusing it through methods of visualization and meditation, using it as a healing property. During this deeply relaxed state, our minds become more absorbent of suggestions, leaving preconceived ideas and cynicism at the door and allowing positive thoughts to take hold.
There have been scientific studies that show that hypnotism can benefit people with all kinds of traumas, injuries, psychological hurdles and stresses. In fact, my own mom underwent hypnosis after being diagnosed with breast cancer. Though she was pretty doubtful about it, she said it helped her feel better almost instantaneously -- and she's a tough nut to crack! {I had get my stubbornness from somewhere.}
Whether or not HypnoBirthing will ease the "pain" of childbirth, I can't tell you. But I can tell you that it has made a big difference in how I view my body and the process that is about to unfold in just a few weeks!
I've been asked if this means that I will refuse an epidural, and the truth is...I don't know. I can't really know until that moment comes, but I plan on using every technique possible to be as comfortable as I can possibly be, hopefully leading to a healthy and smooth delivery. This response often gets uncomfortable giggles from people, and I've become used to it. Their knowing smiles and raised eyebrows speak volumes. Some even go as far as to say something to the effect of, "Have fun with that!"
When I asked one person why she thought women like to regale each other with stories of pain and horror being the inevitable end to childbirth, she said, "Well... probably just to warn each other so they're not caught off guard." Noted. But really, do you think any woman that has a tiny idea of what birthing entails thinks it's going to be a cake walk? I mean, it IS referred to as "labor" after all.
Here's what I've learned: There's a difference between sharing words of wisdom or helpful tips and sharing frightening tales and negative messages. Why not lift new moms up and give them confidence instead of filling their minds with more fear and self-doubt? I'm sure there's already plenty of that floating around in there anyway! Would you tell an athlete who is about to run their first marathon that they will get excruciating cramps and probably gas out half way through the race? I didn't think so.
HypnoBirthing has given me confidence in my body, my mind, my baby and even gave me enough gumption to switch doctors at 34 weeks so that I would feel more comfortable with my practitioner. {My new doc has worked with HB moms and said it's pretty cool. And he's a real, certified doctor...not a witch doctor, in case you were curious.} I'm now looking forward to the process that will bring my son to me rather than dreading it, which I think is a huge first step. This means that I'm comfortable with whatever may happen during childbirth, whether it's part of what I've hoped for or not. I have no unrealistic expectations, but I do have a newfound outlook that makes me think, "Why
shouldn't it be wonderful?"
And learning to fully relax? That has been a priceless skill that I wish I would have learned long, long ago!
I'll be sure to let you know how my practice is put into action when the big day comes... it's just around the corner!
In the meantime, I'm just waiting
impatiently for this little nugget to arrive. Around this time, many women get the urge to do everything in their power to evict their tummy tenants -- it is quite exhausting to house someone for 40 weeks! At our last HypnoBirthing session, our instructor gave us a recipe for Scalini's Famous Egglplant Parmesan. It's a recipe served at an Italian restaurant in Georgia that is said to have sent hundreds of full-term mamas into labor within 48 hours of eating it.
Now, I don't know how true this is {I actually ate it 2 days ago and have had strong contractions but no other signs that he's coming}, but I can tell you that the dish was very good! And I don't even care for eggplant.
Though the recipe calls for stacking the eggplant lasagna-style, I made my version in single portions, sort of like Chicken Parm would be served on individual cutlets. Maybe that's why its magical properties haven't worked on me! ;)
So, moms-to-be... if you're full term and at the end of your rope, you may want to give it a go. Even if it doesn't work, you'll have a great dinner for you and your family to enjoy!
Scalini's Famous "Labor Inducing" Eggplant Parmesan
Adapted from Scalini's Restaurant, for the authentic version, click here
For Eggplant:
1 large eggplant, cut lengthwise into 1/4 inch pieces*
Sea salt
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1 1/2 to 2 cups Italian seasoned breadcrumbs
3 eggs, beaten
1 8 oz. container ricotta cheese
1/2 cup grated Parmesan
1/2 cup grated Romano {I actually used an aged Havarti because that's what I had, but feel free to use your favorite cheese}
1/2 cup grated mozzarella {I like the Polly-O kind or fresh, the grated stuff in the bag is too rubbery}
Olive oil
Lay eggplant pieces out onto a large baking sheet lined with paper towels. Sprinkle with salt, then cover with another set of paper towels. Place another baking sheet on top and anchor with something heavy. Set aside for about an hour. This will remove the excess moisture from the eggplant.
1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Spray two 9x13 inch dishes with olive oil. Have one large baking sheet set aside for placing breaded eggplant as you go, and line another large baking sheet with paper towels for blotting cooked eggplant. Set aside. Head about 2 tablespoons of olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat.
2. Set up your breading station: In 3 separate dishes, have flour, egg and breadcrumbs ready. For each piece of eggplant: dredge in flour, shaking off excess. Dip into egg, allowing excess to drip off. Finally, coat in breadcrumbs. Set each piece onto lined baking sheet as you go. {I find that letting the breading "set" actually makes it easier when sautéing.}
3. In several batches, pan-fry breaded eggplant on each side until golden brown and crisp. You may need to add extra oil to the pan in between batches. Place cooked pieces on paper towel-lined baking sheet to drain of excess oil.
4. Ladle about half of the marinara sauce into each baking dish to cover the bottom. Place as many eggplant slices as will fit side by side on top of the sauce. Spoon about 2 tablespoons each of ricotta cheese, Parmesan cheese and Romano cheese on top of each piece of eggplant. Ladle the other half of the marinara over the eggplant slices. Top each piece with mozzarella. Sprinkle with extra herbs if desired.
5. Bake for about 25 minutes or until the sauce is bubbly and the cheese is melted.
*For the traditional version, you may slice the eggplant into rounds and "stack" the slices lasagna-style.
For Marinara:
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 cup onion, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced
2 cans diced tomatoes, blended to desired consistency
1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1/4 cup fresh basil, finely chopped {or 1 teaspoon dried basil}
1 teaspoon oregano
Pinch of rosemary
Pinch of thyme
Salt and pepper to taste
1. In a large skillet, sauté onion in olive oil over medium heat until onions are tender and translucent. Add garlic and continue to cook for about a minute.
2. Pour in blended tomatoes and stir. Bring to a bubble.
3. Add in the rest of the ingredients, stir, and allow to simmer for about 20-30 minutes or until sauce has deepened in color and thickened slightly. If your sauce thickens too much, add a bit of water or broth to thin it out.
Set aside until ready to use.
