The "Instant Vacation" Cocktail/Mocktail

Florida, you owe me a vacation.

Why? Well, because it's already hot. Really hot. And June just started.

What happens when it's really hot out? You start thinking of pools and bikinis and umbrella drinks. And where do you find those things? On vacation. {Or really, just down the road around here... but you know what I mean.}

So, that's my reasoning right there. I wouldn't have even thought of vacation had it not been for all the sweat and humidity and whatnot. And our last real vacation was almost a year ago. So I'm thinking another one is in order soon.

Who's with me?

Speaking of vacation and umbrella drinks, I've got just the thing to hold you over before you sail away or head out to some exotic location on a jet plane. And luckily, you don't need a boarding pass or a passport to enjoy it.

Does this drink look familiar? Some call it a "Lava Flow", some the "Miami Vice." You'll see it all over cruise ships and touristy hot spots on the beach and I'm pretty sure each spot has its own name for the concoction. Call it what you want; I just call it getaway in a glass.

It's basically a Strawberry Daiquiri topped with a Pina Colada. The only bad thing about that is that most of the time these drinks are made with crazy artificial mixes that contain anything but real strawberry and real pineapple, so you end up with a gut-full of food coloring and artificial flavors. Yum. I don't know about you, but when I'm on vacation I'd rather spend my cheat calories on local goodies like conch fritters and key lime pie.

On the plus side, it's very easy to recreate this cocktail at home using real ingredients that are actually good for you! My rendition includes frozen strawberries and pineapple, tart lemon juice and creamy coconut milk. Blended with a little ice, it becomes the best frosty sipper for cooling down from the blazing heat {and you'll get some fruit in your diet at the same time}! This version is alcohol-free, but you can most definitely add a shot of boozy goodness to each layer if you want the full effect.

You're not off the hook, Florida. I still want some R&R...but this will keep me cool until you pay up. ;)

The "Instant Vacation" Cocktail/Mocktail
*This recipe is an approximation. You can blend yours to suit your own taste.

Strawberry Layer: 
1/4 cup frozen strawberries
Juice of 1/2 a lemon
3-4 tablespoons water or juice of choice {orange juice would be good here}
A handful of ice cubes
{Optional} Simple syrup or superfine sugar for sweetening - I didn't use any and it was on the tart side.

Blend ingredients in a high speed blender until smooth and frosty. Pour into a glass and keep glass in freezer until ready to add the second layer.

Pineapple Layer:
1/4 cup frozen pineapple chunks
1/4 cup coconut milk {the canned kind, not the coconut milk beverage kind}
2-3 tablespoons water or pineapple juice
Handful of ice
{Optional} Simple syrup or superfine sugar for sweetening

Blend ingredients in a high speed blender until smooth and frosty. {Add more liquid if too thick.} Carefully pour over the strawberry layer.

Serve with a straw, preferably in an island paradise. :)

**A shot of light rum or dark rum would be a great addition for an adult version!

Bark-a-Palooza

Ugh, I've missed sitting at the computer and telling you all about my crazy antics lately. I just can't seem to get caught up on everything I need to do AND get in the kitchen AND share it with you AND still have a life. And though I've considered it, I can't call into work and say, "Hey, sorry, but I'm up to my elbows in melted chocolate and I have people counting on me for this recipe."

Is that too much to ask?

This morning I took a little personal time out to go to a yoga class with a friend, and let me just tell you... I loved it. Which is shocking, because I dislike most things that involve any sweating that isn't caused by standing in front of an oven.

But seriously, this was some exercise I can see myself getting into... which is a pretty big deal because you might remember that the last time I mentioned exercise this happened.

I felt strong. I felt zen. I felt brave enough to do a handstand with my feet up on the wall, inverted like an upside down "L".

What I didn't feel was the blood vessel that decided to burst in my eyeball.

Nope, Steve had to inform me about that. He made this strange face while I was talking to him a few hours after the class, and I knew something was up. Then I looked in them mirror and saw it. Like something out of a horror movie.

Oh, well. I'll spare you the picture, but I promise it isn't pretty.

Anyway, enough about fitness, let's talk sugar. {Because I know that's what you come here for.}

You will never guess what I have created for you.

Gifts.

Well, not FOR you but for you to make for other people. Because let's face it, if you weren't the recent winner of that recent ridiculous Powerball drawing, and you're lucky enough to have lots of sweet people in your life that you care about, you probably don't have unlimited funds for holiday shopping.

{But if you do, would you mind sending me some of that? Wire transfer would be great. Thanks.}

Anyway, I know that you probably don't have anymore free time than I do. So I decided to come up with a spin on a popular holiday treat that even busy, broke people can make: Bark.

You know, the stuff that fancy specialty stores like to sell for nearly $30 a tin.

With a handful of ingredients, the help of your microwave and refrigerator, and some inexpensive little gift bags, you can pretty much cross everyone off your list for $30. 

Now comes the exciting part... the flavors that I'm sharing with you today.

Have you ever heard of Banana Pudding Bark? {A white chocolate-vanilla pudding base studded with banana chips and vanilla wafers!}

Or Milk Chocolate-Potato Chip Bark? {Milk chocolate base encrusted with salty potato chips and drizzled with white chocolate!}

Or Pina Colada Bark? {White chocolate base with sweet dried pineapple bits and flaked coconut!}

Yeah, I've never seen those come in a tin, either. But if those stores know what's good for them, they'll start selling these... SOON.

Because they'll have some competition coming from you and me. And if I can make it with a busted eye, I guarantee you'll have no problem making it either.

**These recipes are an approximation. You can use as much or as little of the ingredients as you choose, and mix and match add ons to make your own delicious flavors**

Banana Pudding Bark

1 {11 oz.}bag white chocolate chips {I use Ghiradelli's}
4 tablespoons Jell-O Vanilla Instant Pudding
1/2 cup vanilla wafers, coarsely crumbled
1/3 to 1/2 cup banana chips

1. Prepare a baking sheet by lining with parchment paper or a silicone baking mat. Set aside

2. Place white chocolate chips in a medium, microwave-safe bowl. Heat on high for 30 second intervals, stirring occasionally until melted and smooth. {Note: White chocolate is VERY easy to scorch, keep an eye on it and try to zap it as little as possible. Residual heat will do most of the melting.}

3. Add 4 tablespoons of pudding mix to melted white chocolate, mixing until incorporated. {It will become quite thick.}

4. Spread white chocolate-pudding mixture onto prepared baking sheet and smooth out with a silicone or offset spatula to desired thickness. {I like it about 1/4 inch thick.}

5. While still wet, sprinkle with crumbled vanilla wafers and banana chips, pressing down gently to adhere to base.

6. Let set either at room temperature for about an hour or in the refrigerator for about 30 minutes.

7. When hardened, break into irregular pieces and serve or package.

Milk Chocolate-Potato Chip Bark

1 {12 oz.} bag milk chocolate chocolate chips
About 1 to 1/2 cups potato chips, coarsely crumbled
About 1/4 cup white chocolate chips, melted

1. Prepare a baking sheet by lining with parchment paper or a silicone baking mat. Set aside

2. Place chocolate chips in a medium, microwave-safe bowl. Heat on high for 30 second intervals, stirring occasionally until melted and smooth. {Note: Careful not to scorch.}

3. Pour melted chocolate onto prepared baking sheet and smooth out with a silicone or offset spatula to desired thickness. {I like it about 1/4 inch thick.}

4. While still wet, sprinkle with crumbled potato chips.

5. Chill in refrigerator about 10 minutes or until hardened.

6. Remove from freezer and drizzle with melted white chocolate. Return to freezer for another 10 minutes or until set.

7. When hardened, break into irregular pieces and serve or package.

Pina Colada Bark




1 {11 oz.} bag white chocolate chips {I use Ghiradelli's}
1/2 cup dried pineapple pieces, roughly chopped
3/4 cup flaked, sweetened coconut

1. Prepare a baking sheet by lining with parchment paper or a silicone baking mat. Set aside

2. Place white chocolate chips in a medium, microwave-safe bowl. Heat on high for 30 second intervals, stirring occasionally until melted and smooth. {Note: Careful not to scorch.}

3. Pour melted white chocolate onto prepared baking sheet and smooth out with a silicone or offset spatula to desired thickness. {I like it about 1/4 inch thick.}

4. While still wet, sprinkle with chopped dried pineapple pieces. Sprinkle flaked coconut over top, pressing down gently to adhere to base.

5. Chill in refrigerator about 10 minutes or until set.

6. When hardened, break into irregular pieces and serve or package.